My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
