he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
