Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
