Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
