No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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