I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize