I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize