Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
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Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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