when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
