This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
