I'm lost and stupid without you.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
