..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
