Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
