i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
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you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
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I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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