What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
