He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
When did we convert life to cartoon?
50% drunk capacity currently
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
