I'm lost and stupid without you.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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