At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
