Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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