we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
