i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
