chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
