I wish I could punch you in the face.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
