ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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