just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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