your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
