Define "chronic" masturbator.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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