Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize