What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
