i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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