They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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