dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Randomize
