I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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