found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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