I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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