He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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