and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
