It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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