the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
