You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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