I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
