Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
