Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
