Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
