Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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