I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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