my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Small penises have feelings too.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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