is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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