she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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