did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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