Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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