Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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