i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
