I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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