he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Of course I have a pirate flag
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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