So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
and you said cock pushups were impossible
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
