Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
